Airbag Industries

ATDT.

I’m tired of this nonsense that suggests a “non-designed” site will be more successful because people are sensitive to using applications that aren’t under the thumb of the man. Or maybe I missed the part of human evolution where people are extremely brand and design conscious in meat-space but when it comes to the Matrix that’s all out the window and suddenly the peeps who drive Scions, wear A&F, and drink Red Bull transform into underground anti-establishment lemmings who flock to only those sites that look like they were designed by color-blind C++ programmers.

Wow, if that’s the only reason Craigslist or Myspace became successful then screw design. Kill it until it is dead, dead, dead. I’m hoping on the first flight to Ohio to hire a former employee who is an excellent color-blind programmer.

We’ll create an application for sharing ideas, poetry, photos, discussions, classified ads all related to rainbows and puppy dogs. It will look like the Orange County Register coming down from life-long heroin abuse but who cares because that the site looks like a cow’s behind is the only thing that’s needed to draw in the masses. Content? Sure it will suck but who cares?! It’s all about the neon green type on yellow backgrounds that makes or breaks a multi-million dollar operation in the making.

Damn! I’ve struck gold! Quit your day job people, it doesn’t matter if you have a good idea, it just doesn’t matter. Go into Microsoft Frontpage and select Build > Community > Non-Designed > Ugly > Cash Cow and just wait for someone to offer hundreds-of-millions to buy you out.

Shhhh don’t spread the word, I mean if we all start these kind of sites eventually one of us will try to out do the other one and go text only. ZOMG strike what I’ve said, all of it. Screw design, even the “non-design” because the next greatest thing is text-only.

Do you know how killer my text-only social app is going to be? And not because it might be fun or look interesting to passers-by. No. It’s going to flatten Myspace and Ebay because it’s text only and that is the ultimate in “non-design”. That’s all I need, an application with the design being zero, or one-lower. The only way to beat that is to trade notes in class or hang an index card on the community board in Starbucks. And hey, who the hell needs web standards when it’s just text. Brilliant!

Wow, I’m so excited I can’t believe no one has thought of this. It will be like the old days of text-only applications:

Go north. Take key from unicorn. Kill unicorn with key. Pull beating heart from unicorn. Eat heart. Wipe mouth. Go south.
I’ll call it tWorld and it’s going to rock because you’ll be able to post tPhotos (photos converted into ASCII text of course) on your tBlog and share smack with your tFriends and sell them stuff through tAuctions. Oh wait. Hmmm, is that lower case ‘t’ thing too designed? Do you think people will wonder if this is all just a play by Proctor and Gambel to sneak under the suckdar and create more generations of global corporate product slaves?

Dang, maybe this idea isn’t so hot after all.