I just called home to check up on my wife when a trucker answered the phone.

He had a gruff voice that carried the instant imagery of a muscular brute sporting a ZZ Top beard and a rotting baseball cap that read BJ’s BBQ and Tackle.

So of course I thought I had the wrong number and was about to hang up when the trucker said, “I love you.”

Somewhere between last night and this morning my wife’s cold has reached alert status Orange. The Department of Homeland Security has been notified, the Storeyhaus is now officially a biohazard zone.