Thanks to the House of Representatives, or as I like to call them House of Asshats, we now have a new name for French Fries. Yes, my elected leaders decided to take the day and get ‘revenge’ on the country of France by calling a fast food by a different name.

Super fantastic!

Hey Rep. Nay (Ohio) and Rep. Jones (North Carolina), thanks for wasting my tax money on such an obvious press ploy. And oh, by the way, once you’re done acting twelve years old, would you mind taking a look at our economy, potential war with Iraq, and things like education, Social Security, and medical care for everyone?

Not wanting Congress to waste any more money or resources (who knows how many House aides it took to come up with the name ‘Freedom Fries’), I have come up with further menu changes that should be made pronto.

French Bread

French Dressing

Swedish Meatballs

Canadian Bacon

German Apple Pankcake

Baked AlaskaNew

Patriot Missile Manna

D-Day Dressing

G.W. Balls

NAFTA Pig Product

Operation Desert Shield

Baked ANWRI know Alaska is part of the union but the Feds treat the state as if it was just another Puerto Rico. It’s enough to make me want to fly to France and order a Royale with Cheese.