Dear Q-tip,

You have been such a necessity in my everyday life that I can not think what living would be like without you. Every morning, noon, and night you have been there for me to stop the mad itching sensation deep in my inner ear. After a good scrubbing you always emerge with a smile on your face as you and I both know what a good job you always do.

Oh white cotton tipped friend, you are the perfect product of form and function. No other cottonswab product comes close to the usefulness and cleaning pleasure you provide. Not even the competitors can come close to your quality and record of achievement in the ear itch category.

Alas, today I have received troubling news.

The doctor told me that I have to stay away from you for the next 7-10 days. My heart sank and my ears started to itch as she was talking, yet the left side of my head hurts enough that I must heed the physicians word and think of other things while I try to forget I even have an inner ear — let alone that need to pick you up and carry you to the front lines of the Mother of All Itching Battles.

As I write this letter to you, I have two cotton balls crammed in each ear, holding the steroid laced medicine into the very area it is supposed to protect. The same area that you used take care of for me!

What I really want to do is grab twenty Q-tips and go to town. Damn ear medicine.

Anyway, I won’t be seeing you much in the next week or so. Then the doctor will hopefully let me come out and play again.

Stay cool and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do! Ha ha!

Your Pal,