If the Japanese had wanted to successfully invade Southern California back in 1941, all they would have needed was a little rain because that’s all that it takes to drive these people into mild insanity.
Just so you know, it’s been raining since yesterday morning and it’s pretty sad.
Hey kids, if you want to see how a typical Southern California reacts to rain, go find a snail and throw a dash of salt on it’s head. Watch it real back, writhing in pain as the salt begins to eat away the flesh – It’s just like that!
In fairness it does tend to be a little dry here.
Until yesterday it had not rained in Southern California since last February but this is natural because almost all of this area is a desert climate. The only reason this place looks so green (the landscaping in Orange County is way, way over the top) is because California has successfully diverted the Colorado River from reaching Arizona.
Take the ‘imported’ water away and this place (palm trees and all) will shrivel up like a giant raisin.
But today we have too much rain. Not enough to send Santa Monica mud sliding into the Pacific Ocean, but enough that all the local news programs officially launched their version of STORMWATCH 2002, complete with a flashy graphics package and contemporary soundtrack.
Not since Operation Desert Storm have I seen so much over reaction from the media (except for that OJ thing). Almost every morning the weather reports go pretty much the same. After talking about coastal fog for a few minutes they bring up the radar after heavily name dropping the brand and make of their equipment:
“…now let’s take a look at our up-to-the-minute picture from the Official ABC 7 Doppler Radar 7000 Crystal Scan.”
You can just imagine how excited meteorologists get when the weather does something other than, “sunny with a high of 82 and a low of 64”. I keep expecting one of them to actually loose control and pee his pants from all the excitement.
The largest consequence to rain is traffic. The Southern California lifer becomes a dangerous projectile when driving an automobile in the rain. Once the wet stuff hits the pavement these people tense up as if they were walking across shattered glass and traffic comes to a complete halt.
The problem is compounded by the occasional import driver from Arkansas who thinks he/she has got what is takes to become the next Knightrider.
My only form of solace from this craziness is that Disneyland will be open until midnight tonight and I already know it’s going to be empty with no lines and nobody to get in the way of riding Indiana Jones over and over again. Not even the Imperial Japanese could keep me away from that.