Airbag Industries

Fracture.

Several times I have pined for cable television. I want to watch the excellent programs on BBC America, Turner Movie Classics, and Sundance. As always it would be hard to pass up the offerings from the Learning, Discovery, and History channels.

In short, cable television is good. Well, mostly good.

A few evenings ago I sat in the lobby of a car dealership, waiting to speak with a fleet manager. The television was on, a little too loud, tuned too FOX News. The program, just starting, happened to the the O’Riley Factor, a show I had heard much about but never witnessed in person.

Now I don’t mind conservatives, I myself share many of the traditional conservative views. If tested, I would probably fall somewhere closer to moderate but we’ll talk more about that during the 2004 elections.

The Factor and it’s ‘No Spin Zone’ is not so much a news program as it is a witch hunt. This guys preys on peoples dignity like the President smokes out terrorists. How this passes for news, or even objective commentary, is beyond me. In fairness I’ve only seen one show but on this late afternoon Bill had one hell of a huge chip on his shoulder against France.

I’m all for making a joke at the expense of the French people but when I hear Mr. O’Riley command his minions to boycott French products, well that’s just plain stupid.

The French would love nothing more than for us to stop consuming their products. Every day in America, thousands of people butcher the word croissant alone. And I shudder to think what most of my countrymen do with a good Brie.

No, a boycott would only create a cause for a French National Day of Celebration. Parisians in the millions would celebrate in a party not seen since the Liberation during World War II.

But hey, everyone should know this, including the host of a cable television news program. I guess with all those channels, the cable industry must be hurting for real objective and informed talent.

Perhaps it’s time to take Airbag to the airwaves, at least I would get free cable.