Remember those good ‘ole days when the Department of Homeland Security launched a program to educate Americans on how to protect themselves from chemical or dirty bomb attack? Their plan of protection called for dressing up your house in a duct-tape-and-visqueen prom dress, retreating somewhere safe inside while sucking your thumb and rocking back and forth. While it sounded good (pffft, for maybe a day or two until everyone realized that Home Depot was charging an arm and a leg for visqueen and who in the hell can afford to buy as much as they really need to cover their homes when Arkansas is only a day’s drive away and everyone knows that nothing happens there so why not just camp out at the local KOA and return when the acid rains have washed away all the bad chemicals?) the plan was a complete bomb. Eh, so to speak.
That said, if the government has taught us anything it’s that promoting fear can save lives. If everyone is afraid then no one is not afraid and that means millions of people ready to receive directions and follow them to the ‘t’ in effort to save their own hide. So it is with that powerful knowledge combined with the Johnny-come-lately-’07-blog-words paranoia that we at Team Airbag have taken our brilliant ideas from whiteboard to website.
So comrades it is with great patriotic pride that I present to you the for-real, get real!, application of the blog future. The Airbag Department of Security Blog Advisory System is here to protect lives and restore order, your cooperation will ensure that peace and democracy are restored in the near future.