If you must declare a fatwa so be it, just stop targeting humans and point your weapons of mass destruction towards these things:
- The Entitlement Generation
- Staying The Course
- All Country Music
- Florida Shoppers Who Can’t Contain Their Holiday Horde Rage
- Alternative Names For A Type Of Blog, It’s Still Just A Blog
- White Wine
- Blockbuster Video’s Weak Struggle To Stay Alive
- Killer Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloons
- Anyone Who Said The New Flash Plugin Would Run Faster On A Mac.
- Earthquakes — Sneaky Bastards
- The Millions Of Dollars Wasted On Special Elections
- The Need To Have Project Management Software In The First Place
- Inept Corporate Leaders Who Get Paid Millions While Laying Workers Off In The Thousands
- Celebrity News
- Walmart Shoppers Who Do Not Consider The Long Term Economic Impact Of Their Need For .99 Plastic Storage Containers
- Blizzard’s Inability To Administrate A MMORPG Without Taking The Network Down Each Week
- Traffic School
- The Missing Seven Gigs Of Disk Space On The Xbox 360 Twenty Gigabyte Hard Drive
- Sweeps Week
- The Hypocrisy Found In Religious, Racial, and Political Leaders
- Free Shipping, Free Refills, Free Upgrades, Free Collectors Items — We End Up Paying For It Somewhere, Somehow
- Digg vs. Slashdot
- The Breakup Of The Police