EXT. SPRINGFIELD MILITARY BASE – DAY
A USO show. BOB HOPE stands in the wings with an ADVANCE MAN.
BOB HOPE> What’s the mayor’s name?
ADVANCE MAN> Quimby.
BOB HOPE> Beautiful.
Bob goes on stage in front of thousands of ROWDY G.I.’s.
BOB HOPE> Hello, this is Bob “what the hell am I doing in Springfield” Hope. Hey, how about that Mayor Quimby? He’s some golfer! His balls spend more time under water than Greg Louganis.