After reading Larry Bodine’s “Macintosh ate my children, solicited underaged Congressional pages for pictures, and tested nukes in North Korea” story I could empathize.

You see I was suckered into thinking that buying a Chevrolet truck would make me a better American, a better man. I took “like a rock” to mean that I would get a patriotic workout while driving across the golden plains of this country and wearing a construction helmet. Instead I’m left stuck in traffic jams with a gas guzzling, underpowered, limp product created in every country but America and I’m still bent towards Canadian ideology.