Modern Problems.

Have you heard the story of Job from the Old Testament? It’s about a prosperous, Godly man who lost his vast property, herds and flocks of animals, bank accounts, wives, daughters, and developed boils all over his body. All this because Satan bet God that if Job lost it all, he would turn his back on God and curse his name.

That was thousands of years ago, but today I am pretty sure the Devil has another side bet going. At least that would explain the past events of the last few days. My car says to check the engine, the refrigerator decieded to drink the special koolaid and dress in a purple jumpsuit, I caught my friends seven day head cold, and just this morning I awoke to a destroyed fence (courtesy of the Santa Anna winds).

Like my friend Mitch says, “On the brighter side, there might be a war in Iraq.”

Have no pity for me, I choose to moan my misfortunes as I try to find a way to gain Catholic Sainthood for my endurance of these trying events. I think it would be a win-win, they would get some good press and I would be imortalized in stain glass!

Either way, God’s name shall not be cursed — Job didn’t do it so who am I to start a new Christian tradition — and fences are made to be mended.

Just grant me the strength to call the insurance claims department. Lord help me if I have to go postal on someone today.