Airbag Industries

Munich.

What bothers me most about being an American right now is the stupid yuck-yuck story told over and over again by countless journalists who can’t come up with a better World Cup piece other than the tried and true, “Oh I’m supposed to like soccer now” or “why America doesn’t like soccer”. Fishwrap crappity-crap-crap, all of it. Take for instance these lines pulled from the introduction of a how-to watch soccer piece written as snarky as possible:

I don’t know much about soccer. I realize that it is, by a wide margin, the world’s most popular sport. I’m told that players can’t use their hands, which renders it a particularly sweaty equivalent of bobbing for apples. I understand that the game harkens back to my high-school days, in that it involves lots of guys running around like lunatics and mostly not scoring. As a guy who fancies himself something of a sports fan, however, I can’t in good conscience sit out the upcoming World Cup. To do so would be borderline irresponsible, frankly.

Here let me clue you in: WE DON’T CARE.

Let me say that again for those who scanned right past that last line: WE REALLY DON’T CARE. SERIOUSLY! NOBODY CARES THAT YOU DON’T KNOW A THING ABOUT SOCCER OR HOW YOU FEEL THE NEED TO WATCH AND LIKE IT BECAUSE THE REST OF THE WORLD HAS A TENDENCY TO ENJOY SOMETHING DIFFERENT THAN YOU.

This journalism reflects the attitude of my countrymen who get retarded about world class sporting events that are not related to football, basketball, or baseball. But I expect more from journalists as they are often the opinion leaders that most of my country chooses to outsource their thinking to.

We are a different tribe with our own system of measurement, sports, life expectancy rate, etc., some of our forefathers got the brilliant idea that we needed to be different or the opposite of the tyranny they “fled” and that mindset has continued and flourished. We’re supposed to be the ones that embrace diversity but instead really we just make a bigger deal about it all by giving our differences names, titles, programs, grants and news stories.

Citizens of the United States (especially the primarily English speaking ones) you need to get over yourselves about your indifference to this sport or anything else that people outside our country like that you don’t.

For the next month please, please good people shut your word hole, go back to your rib-racked dinner at Chili’s and watch the “Finals” or try something new like finger-painting-by-numbers, something! Forcibly resist the desire to pull words from your behind and let those of us who relish the World Cup have the sanctity to enjoy it.
SIDENOTE: I have noticed a big difference in camera/image quality between Univision’s broadcast to that of the fuzzy American stations.