Ugh. Why are the opening ceremonies so difficult to watch? Could it be that Bob Costas can’t shut up and while he moves his word-hole nothing important, funny, interesting, or useful comes out of his mouth?

Or is it that Katie Couric always looks so damn, irritatingly cute. Who dresses this woman? Mattel?

I think my iritation comes with the United States Olympic Committe’s need to always feature the American West as the most significant symbol of our culture. Wonder why the world thinks we’re just a bunch of cowboys? Rewind this evenings global show and think about it.

Never mind that we put a man on the moon. And who cares about our nifty civil liberties movement. Do my own countrymen forget that Pizza was invented here? Or that Elvis used to walk amongst us? But instead we choose, as we did in Atlanta, to feature a covered wagon hootenany.

Tonight I’m crossing my fingers that John Tesh is still in Avalon and no where near these Olympic games.