Airbag Industries

Q2-Y2.

Dear readers,

This year has been, so far, a great year for Airbag! Since it’s debut in early January, this site has received praise from some of the finest peers in the web development industry and link-traffic from such fine sites as Zeldman.com. More importantly, I have come to know each and everyone of the nine thousand people who read this site every day.

But I feel that in light of current events I must come forward with a troubling matter.

At the end of Q2 it was announced that Airbag did nothing less than a Nasdaq miracle by climbing from $0 to $3.4 Billion dollars in revenue in the first quarter of FY02. Hockey stick profits all around!

In fact this was a long-division mistake made by my accounting firm HR Block, whom I just found out does a better job with taxes than profit and loss statements. In fact they have never done anything related to accounting since they became ‘more for your life at Sears’.

A quick re-calculation of finances at Airbag reveals that currently this site is in the red by $70 and will most likely be $120 in deficient by the end of Q4.

Since learning of the ‘accounting error’, I have stopped all construction on the Airbag Swiss Mountain Chalet. The Airbag Biotech Research being conducted in effort to bring Walt Disney back to life has, unfortunately, been shut down as well. I am in the process of transferring the head back to Al’s Tackle and Ice Barn.

Work still continues on the new web portal, myAirbag (www.my.airbag.msn.go.com), that will be supported by selling ‘almost legal’ marijuana to the British — available in 23 different varieties from around Compton, Tiajuana, and Arkansas.

I hope that by coming forward with this simple accounting mistake you will appreciate how honest, friendly, and forthcoming I can be caught in a pickle.

Thank you.

Greg