Airbag Industries

Shemeckis.

I just came across a link to a store where a two-terabyte drive can be purchased for the price of an iPod. Two. Terabytes. !@#$% What the hell?! Arrrrgggg. Wait, uh, let me get into character here…cinch the pants up a few inches—yes, good—put on some flannel, and hunch over…all set.

Seems like only yesterday when Apple unveiled the one-megabyte drive for the Macintosh Plus. It cost way more than an iPod but you could do things like store all your fonts, all your documents (even scanned documents) and Aldus Pagemaker in one neat, tidy place and there was still a vast sea of room left over to store things like the Library of Congress, Ultima II, and China. It was so huge, look, you don’t even know how much one-megabyte was. Now, I think my cat’s digital watch as more storage space.

Two-terabytes though? I don’t get it?!

How is it that a two-terrabyte drive is just another commonly available product available at a low, low price, because the last time I checked I still can’t visit Mars. I can’t “beam” to the East Coast and have dinner with Ryan and Ethan and then “beam” back home. My car still has tires and requires 1/4th of a dinosaur to commute for a week. Cancer still kills people and every other year I get that damned, knock you on your ass head and chest cold. We still don’t know if we’re the only humanoids in existence in the universe. NBC still doesn’t have a viable strategy for digital content distribution better than what they had with iTunes (The Zune?! Are you kidding me?! And oh hey, 1985 IBM called and they’d like to talk to you about working with Microsoft). The closest thing to having a robot in the house is an upside down bowl that sucks up and it can’t tell you the square root of jack, it just runs around until it bumps into something, turns a bit and tries to forge a new path. My cats aren’t wearing Astro Boots with that matching glass dome helmet. Newspapers, newspapers, newspapers. And we still have people waiting to be awakened from their frozen slumber into a bright new future where their head can be attached to new cyborg body.

Look, the two-terrabyte drive isn’t supposed to exist yet. We’re not supposed to have that kind of technology until I can take a pneumatic tube to work. So either someone has found a way to travel into the future (also part of the list of things you’re supposed to be able to do in a two-terrabyte world) or we’re all getting gypped.