I’m here on top of the local bell tower, the deer rifle loaded and ready to go.
Earlier today I thought would be a good idea to convert some HTML into HTML & CSS. It started out okay and everything was working just like it was supposed to.
Then I looked at the results with a Macintosh.
When I was younger I used to pretend I could turn into a superhero and save the world or at least save the day. There were also several hours spent living in the Star Wars universe as the pilot of the Millennium Falcon but as cool as Han Solo was, he did not have super natural powers, only the ability to make Princess Lea melt in his Wookie loving hands.
Back on planet Earth I watched as each layer of cascading style information became more and more deformed. No matter what I did to the code, nothing would right this horrible wrong.
With a very deep focus, I tried called upon my inner demon to come forth, turn my skin green, grow biceps the size of Volkswagens, and shred any unnecessary clothing.
My blood vessels started to pulse heavily while tinny beads of sweet quickly formed at the top of my forehead, ready to turn into streams of stress. Several times I joined the right hand with the left to crack and pop the joints that were beginning to harden with each browser reload.
If I could just morph into the Incredible Hulk then all would be fine. I would take said Macintosh and smash and fold it into a titanium ‘paper’ airplane and hurl it ten miles away. Then I would exit the building through the wall, land on several cars parked below and make my way to Disneyland where I wouldn’t need a Fast Pass to get to the front of the lines.
Alas, I did not turn green, I am still wearing all of my clothes, and the CSS layout is still laughing at me from a Powerbook that has since been turned off.
Oh, that it laughs at me.