Sony recently dropped the price of the Playstation 3 in another effort to stop the hemorrhaging of absolute failure. Other suggestions for saving the game console include decreasing the models available from two to one, improve performance, put the rumble back in the controllers, redesign away from the current 1972 Buick look-and-feel, make it easier for developers to create games, bundle games, did I mention make it easier for developers to make games?, and copying Xbox Live. All great ideas but I think I’ve found a solution that’s better, faster, cheaper.

How to save the Playstation 3

- Cut a hole in the box.

Wait, wait, wait, wrong list! Sorry about that.

How to save the Playstation 3

- Take the PS3 to a lake, river, or still, but clean, body of water. - Have the game console formally renounce Satan, All Evil and Ken Kutaragi (covered under the renouncement of all evil but he’s a asshat so why not call special attention to His Idiocy). - Bless the water by throwing in a mint copy of Gran Turismo 3. - Have the PS3 make a statement of faith (i.e. I believe I can be a great game console that gamers will really want). - Dunk the console in the water–hold for two-to-three seconds–and bring back to the surface (provide back support). - Sing Amazing Grace and/or play the theme to Ridge Racer. - Take the Playstation to Arizona to dry out completely. Do not baptize the PS3 and then plug it in unless your intention is to send it directly to heaven, before you get a chance to play Resistance the Fall of Man or watch something on Bluray. - Call Peter Moore and yell into the phone: “Yeah, I got saved, suck it.”

Easy. Peasy.