Paper for Walls.

“Good morning, it is time for you to get up and feed me.”

“Go away and stop licking my ear!”

“Do I need to call PETA?”

“Go right ahead, see what I care… on second thought… last time you did

that I got harassed for a month and added to their stupid mailing list.”

“A little grumpy this morning.”

“I was up late, uh, making desktop images.”

“What? Do you know how much hell you gave me for doing the same thing a

while back?”

“Yeah well you’re a cat. You should be playing with string, not Photoshop.”

“I thought you hated desktops.”

“I don’t hate them, it just seems like everybody makes them.”

“And you jumped into the fray because…”

“…because someone asked if they could take one of my photos and make their

own! So instead of encouraging that behavior I decided to make them


“Let them eat cheesecake!”

“Precisely! Viva Liberty!”

“Speaking of eating, last night I noticed that you were eating a wild

Sockeye, fresh from the waters of the Washington region I believe.”

“Yeah, we had salmon.”

“Was it good?”

“I would have rather had a Double-Double from In & Out, animal style, but

sure, it was good.”

“Yeah I know what you mean. Anyway, I would like to place my breakfast

order now. I’ll take Le Saumons Froids with sparkling cold filtered


“Uh, sure, wait a second! You have to stop this because the last time you

talked me into giving you theley-Saulmons-Frods, I got my butt chewed

for a week!”

“Understand, kind sir, that I do grow weary of eating the same tuna,

specially processed for cats.”

“Well I’ll make a deal with you. Grow opposable thumbs, then grow some arms

and work on the height, then you can get your own salmon.”

“Fine but I don’t know if I can guarantee the safety of your personal

belongings while you are away anymore. I noticed there is another coyote

alert in the neighborhood. Lord knows what would happen if that beast was

to find it’s way in here and discover your comic book collection…”

“Then tell that coyote that if it likes to live in a non-water-wet

environment then it had better behave!”

“Heh, heh — I’ll be sure to pass it along. Hmmm, this cat tuna is awfully