It would go something like this…
“I left Apple because, well my G3 was starting to get on my nerves. Compared to my Pentium 233 with Windows XP it was slower than cold maple syrup being poured in the Arctic.
Then I moved to XP. Wow! Totally fast! Great games, excellent applications and did I mention it’s fast?
But then what was my fascination with Apple about? Have I lost faith? Am I forsaking my destiny? Did I really abandon my beliefs for a faster operating system? Why doesn’t Dan Benjamin like me anymore?”
“Cut!, cut, cut”
“What? What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong? Hey Abraham Lincoln, get to the point! This isn’t your victory speech. Say something about how easy it is to use Quicken.”
“But I don’t use Quicken.”
“What? It shows right here that you are the Quicken guy. You’re supposed to talk about how much better it is to use Quicken on MacOS X than on a ‘Washington Wintel’.
“Who rights this crap?”
“Hurry up before Jeff Goldblum get’s here. He doesn’t like it when strangers are on the set – makes him go kooky.”
“Alright, from the top everybody!”
“I love MacOS X, Steve Jobs and his boyfriend Jeff Goldblum. I love how when I click on the Quicken icon, the program loads – dear God the program loads! And entering numbers is easy with the keyboard. It’s just that simple and that’s why I made the switch.”
“That’s a wrap! Great work everybody!”